The answers to the question everybody wants to know

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 
BARACK OBAMA:
 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!
 
JOHN McCAIN:
 My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens
on the other side of the road.
 
HILLARY CLINTON:
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn’t about me.
 
DR. PHIL:
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he
must first deal with the problem on ‘”THIS ” side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his
“CURRENT” problems before adding “NEW” problems.
 
GEORGE W. BUSH:
 We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
 
PAT BUCHANAN:
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
 
DR SEUSS:
 Did the chicken cross the road?
 Did he cross it with a toad?
 Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
 but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
 
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
 To die in the rain. Alone.
 

GRANDPA:
 In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
 
BARBARA WALTERS:
 Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
 
JOHN LENNON:
 Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
 

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
 
BILL CLINTON:
 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of chicken?
 
AL GORE:
 I invented the chicken!
 
COLONEL SANDERS:
 Did I miss one?
 
AL SHARPTON:
 Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
 
DICK CHENEY:
 Where’s my gun?

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About robertstevenson

Dr. Robert Stevenson is an Associate Professor of Journalism and Director of Student Publications for the Department of Mass Communications and Theater at Lander University in Greenwood, SC. He received the Distinguished Faculty of the Year award for 2007-'08, and the Lander University Young Faculty Scholar Award in 2005-06. Stevenson also serves as chair of the Lander University American Democracy Project. First and Formost I am a dad of two wonderful boys.
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7 Responses to The answers to the question everybody wants to know

  1. gafarmwoman says:

    That was so funny and I needed it today! Thanks.

  2. Joe says:

    Chicken crossing the road jokes. I love the classics. 🙂

  3. Dr. Rob:
    “The chicken crossed the road so I could make a hilarious, clever blog post”.

  4. Mike says:

    That is a great post Rob. Very funny.

  5. Daisy says:

    😀 LOVED this post! Oh my!

  6. Bobbie says:

    Good one, Rob — but I thought the Pat Buchanan one sounded more like Lou Dobbs!

  7. Skye B. says:

    Hi Rob,
    Why the chicken cross the street, well he crossed the street to get away from the construction!

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