“Ba-dum-ch” Jokes

Here are “Ba-dum-ch” Jokes-submitted for publication on Rob’s Megaphone. The submitter’s blog is listed first. Please visit the contributors’ blogs. I’m betting you’ll thank me later.    :0)

 

The Rest of Me  Three nuns walked into a bar … the fourth one ducked.

 

ThriftShopRomantic  A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, “Why the long face?”

 

Andy’s Fishing Diary  What’s E.T. short for? He has wee legs

 

Praning’s Thoughts  (Pick up lines) Do u belive in love at first sight?? Or should I walk past again?

 

Tommy Buettner Blogging Baseball I don’t drink anymore…I don’t drink any less either.

Nardeeisms  A local monastery was going bankrupt. The abbot didn’t know what to do. The brothers had a meeting, and decided to open a great Olde English Fish-N’-Chips stand. One day, a man knocked on the door. After one of the brothers answered the door, the man asked, “May I have just an order of fries?”
The brother said, “Hold on a moment. I’m the fish friar. You want the chip monk.”

Random Ramblings  My hybrid car just got repossessed. I can’t figure it out, the salesman said that withing a year it would pay for itself.

 

The key to a good marriage is to go out to dinner 2 nights a week.
She goes on Tuesdays I go on Thursdays.

 

Information . . . . Power and Confusion  Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

 

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, “What would you like, sir?”
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, “A quickie.”
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?” Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, “A quickie, please.”

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, “Um, Pal, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”

The Aspiring Horseplayer From “the king of one-liners” in Goodfellas:  “The wife says to me she wants to go on vacation to some place she’s never been before…I says hey, try the kitchen!”

 

Homemaker’s Haven  What do you call a man with a spade? Doug
What do you call a man without a spade? Douglas
What do you call a man with a crew-cut? Shaun
What do you call a man under a car? Jack
What do you call a man that’s suspicious? Sly
What do you call a man in debt? Bill
What do you call an electrician? Serg
What do you call a man lying on the floor? Matt
What do you call a man floating in the water? Bob

 

 Admarktech – Reporting on New and Innovative Marketing and Advertising Technology

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea!

Homemaker’s Haven  What do you call a bleeding deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no bloody idea!

 

Grab Some Health News  A piece of broccoli walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says “We don’t serve food here”.

 

If you have a “Ba-dum-ch” joke that you’d love to share, just leave it in my comments. I’ll post selected jokes on “Ba-dum-ch” jokes 2 in a few days.
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About robertstevenson

Dr. Robert Stevenson is a Professor of Journalism and Director of Student Publications for the Department of Mass Communications and Theater at Lander University in Greenwood, SC. He received the Distinguished Faculty of the Year award for 2007-'08, and the Lander University Young Faculty Scholar Award in 2005-06. Stevenson also serves as chair of the Lander University American Democracy Project. First and Formost I am a dad of two wonderful boys.
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7 Responses to “Ba-dum-ch” Jokes

  1. Shawie says:

    Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Here’s mine:)

    Points to Ponder:

    If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

    If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look like they do?

    If space is vacuum, who changes the bags?

    If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

    If you jog backward, do you gain weight?
    *****************

    chao!

  2. Praning5254 says:

    Thanks for counting me in..

    I also want to share you this…

    Planning for the Future

    Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

    A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

  3. Paul says:

    My son told me this one many years ago.

    Q. What does a raincloud wear under his pants?

    A. Thunderwear

    Ba dump ching

    Please try the veal.

  4. kab625 says:

    Hi,
    Thanks for including my brocolli joke! Here’s another, but I don’t think that way-honest.

    Q:How do you please a man?
    A:Who cares?

  5. Anne says:

    I’m groaning here at my own joke!

  6. Kelleigh says:

    Thanks for the link! Love what you’re doing here!

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